The Music in My Head

This weekend I forgot my iPod at work. Which meant that I didn’t have it for my long run on Sunday. And if you just shuttered thinking about running 10 miles without music, then you and I are in the same camp. Not only would I miss the steady harmonic beats willing my feet forward, but I’d face running that long distance without my Nike Plus coach whispering my time, mileage and pace in my ear every mile (and recording my stats!).

For a split second I thought, “Do I not run today?” But then I erased that silly thought from my head as quickly as it arrived. Of course I would run. This would be a good experiment. The last time I ran a long distance without my music was the Hartford Half Marathon in early October. It wasn’t a great run for me. I wasn’t happy with my time. I haven’t figured out yet if it was from a lack of sleep, the crazy blisters I got about halfway through or the fact that I wasn’t used to running without music. I’m guessing the first two things had more to do with it, but on Sunday I was still mentally psyched out for spending the next hour and 15 minutes fighting through my 10-mile run inside my own head.

Luckily it was a gorgeous fall day. Fifty degrees, blue skies and just-past-peak colors in the trees. And luckily, I knew that route well enough that I knew exactly where certain mileage points were along the way, including my 5-mile turnaround. I did grab a stop watch to stick in my pocket, because I’m obsessive about time and pace. And then I set out, quietly, mentally preparing myself for the next 75 minutes.

I’m sure you won’t be surprised to hear that the run turned out perfectly fine. In fact, it was my fastest 10-mile training run to date. Even without my favorite bands wooing me along, I managed to keep up a 7:30 min/mile pace and finished with a strong sprint. And I had a very therapeutic time along the route.

I heard myself breathing – which I’m not accustomed to doing. So I thought about it a lot and tried to slow it down and take deeper breaths. I thought about my stride a little bit more than usual. Stood up straighter. Focused on my foot placement. And I had some interesting conversations with myself that weren’t interrupted by the changing of the songs on my typical shuffle setting. I find when I run that I don’t think about things that are going on in the present time. My mind wanders to the future. I plan things. I daydream scenarios. I find a happy, sometimes fictional place to live for awhile.

I have to admit, there were a few tough times along the run when I felt myself fading and I longed for an up-tempo song to help me kick my legs back into gear. But instead, I thought about my arm placement and used the motion to propel me instead of the latest top 40 song.

The most fun part of my quiet run was all of the great sounds I heard along the route. Things I have never heard on my runs before. A few “hellos” and “have a great run” from fellow runners. Great conversations between children and parents as they raced down the path next to me. Dogs barking in yards. Winds through the dry leaves on the path. And during my last half mile when I needed my music the most, what did I hear? A rooster! Crowing its heart out in someone’s back yard. That made me laugh and brought me home during that final sprint.

I’m not going to fib and tell you that I’m a new woman and my iPod stays at home from now on – because, I’m just not there yet. But the thought of 75 minutes with myself doesn’t scare me as much anymore. And I may leave the earphones at home now and then and run to the music in my head. It was a surprisingly great experience. And a lesson learned.

But I’ll tell you one thing. You’ll never find me on a dreadmill without a little Lady Gaga to get me through the pounding. That’s 45 minutes of staring at myself in a mirror when the music in my head just won’t cut it.

Do you run with music or to your own rhythm? Or do you mix it up? If you train with music, how do you handle running a race without it? Drop me a comment and let me know.